Dear IT Guy

Friday, April 18, 2008

Dear IT Guy,

We don't like each other, you and I. You don't like me because I evidently attempt to view improper sites too often. It's honestly not my fault (ok, maybe some of it is, since I'm the one that downloaded the Stumble add-on), but it's Stumble's fault that it stumbles me to some inappropriate-for-work website. I tell it not to do that anymore, if that's any help.


And yes, I realize you folks don't like to be called IT Nazis. Sorry.


But I don't like you either, as I mentioned above. See, if you'd just give me the little bit of help I requested, you could go back to your little hovel and peruse all the gay donkey porn that your geeky little head can take in. I know you bypass all the firewalls you impose upon the rest of us peons, and that's cool. Your position has its privelages, just as mine does. But you've made it abundantly clear to me that I'm not permitted to make any changes to my PC. Even something as simple as swapping out the mouse needs to be done by you or a member of your esteemed IT department. Fine.


My latest request seemed pretty straight forward. I've been working here for 4 years now and have had the same computer the entire time. The files that I design take up a rather large amount of space upon my hard drive and was beginning to cause serious wear and tear, so I requested a new PC with some upgrades. You sent me a website to fill out my request. I did so.


I asked for a new PC on this website, along with a dual-monitor video card, a second monitor and a 120GB external hard drive to hold all of my designed files. Other members of my department asked for and received the same. And they received all of their gear within 1 week of making the request.


Me? Not so lucky.


It took a month. A month, just to receive the PC, minus the video card, second monitor and hard drive. The day after you installed the hard drive, I received a call from our shipping department that a package had arrived for me. This is unusual as I don't typically receive a damn thing here except a hard time. But I went down to shipping. The little Mexican guy handed me a box, told me to sign a paper saying I had received said box, and sent me on my way. Upon arriving at my desk, I opened the box to find a 120GB internal hard drive. I wanted an external one, you know, so I could take it with me when I have to do business travel? This one won't do. Please take it back, use it to store your gay donkey porn and enjoy.


Just yesterday, Mr. IT Guy, you left a message on my voice mail after I had left for the day. You claimed to have my dual-monitor video card. Wonderful! When I called you back and left a message for you stating that I'd be here until 1:30 in the afternoon, I figured you might be able to spare a moment of your time to install it. Alas, you never showed. Instead, when I arrived today, there was another message on my voice mail.

Yes, I was aware that you never said you'd be able to get to it. I have come to the realization that you only tear yourself away from your gay donkey porn when you see fit. Otherwise, you're too busy. But should you be able to facilitate this installation for me, I'd be quite pleased. If you're not able to do it, please just leave the damn card on my desk and allow me to install it myself.


Oh, and don't forget to bring that second monitor, otherwise that video card is no good for me.

Thanks,


Hershey

1 comments:

  1. AmyOops said...

    Thank You for that! I have the same problem at work too.

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