They're Still Pissed At Me

I'm not a big subscriber to the ideas behind April Fool's Day, despite my inherent nature as a prankster. I simply never got into being forced to only pull pranks on one particular day of the year. But this past Tuesday was different. Nobody in my office realized what day of the year it was, so there was a greater chance of me being able to pull a fast one on my employers.

In my office, I'm technically third in charge of a small group of people. It's a perfect fit for me. I'm come to for technical advice all the time, given respect by my superiors and peers, yet don't have an official title and don't have to go to time-wasting meetings at ridiculous hours of the day, thus allowing me to set my own work schedule. I enjoy it immensely, though the work is monotonous.

At the end of this month, I'm on tap to go to Seattle with another co-worker to a customer's site for two weeks. Our job will be to test software on a new military aircraft so they can communicate with other military platforms and ensure they don't fall out of the sky. It's a big deal in our group because this particular program is our main money maker, so some people (not me) have been running around the office like a chicken with their heads cut off in an effort to make sure everything is prepared.

So Tuesday morning, I walked into my boss' office with a resignation letter. I told him I was sorry, but I had a better job offer from one of our competitors, the pay being nearly double what I was making here and far greater benefits (including an unbelievable 30 days per year vacation).

My boss was livid. Saying something along the lines of "how could you do this" and "who else is going to do" my particular job, the man was about 30 minutes away from having a full-blown heart attack. I always figured illness or death were the absolute greatest results of practical jokes, so this was turning out perfectly.

After handing him my letter, I didn't even have to say anything. He had worked himself into such an apoplectic fit, anything from me would likely have destroyed the illusion, so I just sat in his office, quietly laughing to myself.

When I was finally out of his office, several of my co-workers asked me what was wrong with our boss. I told some of them I was leaving, but let the others in on the joke, the ones I knew I could trust to keep it going and play along.

To make a long story short, by the end of the day, a slew of e-mails had been sent in our group explaining the new chain of command and who would be receiving mentoring from me over the course of my last two weeks on the job.

As I was walking out the door, I peeked my head into the boss' office and said, "Happy April Fool's Day," and left. Needless to say, he was not amused yesterday.

I really am amazed I can hold down a job most days.